Chapter 24

I know it's not long, but it's all I can really write for now, I promise more posts though; don't worry. Thanks for everything who's still reading!
--

Previously:

I closed the door after him, then sat on my bed and opened it to find a letter.

Dear Dalal, 

--

Dear Dalal,

I've missed you, you know? 1 year is hard to live without someone you love, but I'll tell you this.. You've never left my mind. You were the first thing I thought of in the morning when I awoke, and the last thing I thought of before my eyes closed to sleep. By the time you get this, I'll already be in the same country and city as you, and I'm hoping it brings light into my life again.. 

This sounds cliche doesn't it? I feel cheesy, but this is unfair and I deserve better treatment, all I ever did was love you.. I'll give you one last chance to show me that you love me, come tomorrow at 7:00am to Retro Morning if you still feel the same way.. If you don't, I'm going to go back and live the life I should have and want. 

Talal

--

I was tearing when I read that, and every time my mind drifted off to think about how tomorrow will go, something pulled me back.. 

I thought of the letter.. He DID deserve better.. Talal was handsome, funny, smart, and understanding.. He was the perfect man, and every girl wanted him. Why did I, the one who always ended up hurting him, deserve him?

I stayed in deep thought then just surrendered and left to grab something to eat. After a good meal, I bought a few books and made my way back to my apartment.

When I got home, I found flowers at the front of my door.. Lilies, my favorite! There was a card:

Oops, forgot these! Hope you like them.

Talal

I smiled and giggled a bit, he never failed to make me smile, laugh, or just plain feel happy! 

But as soon as these good thoughts came to my head, my smile was replaced by a frown and once again I was in deep thought.

I bent down, grabbed the flowers and went inside my apartment and began to read to get my mind off of it.

The next few hours flew by and I had finished a 300 page book.. I looked at the clock and it was only 9pm, I had slept a lot the day before so I decided to stay up another hour or so, and ended up finishing half of another book. 

By 10:45, I was asleep, completely forgetting to set an alarm for 6:30am..

Chapter 23

Previously:

I started to think about whether Talal should know who my real father was, after all, he knew the man very well.

I started to fall asleep after a while of thinking and coming out of nothing, then pulled it for another 15 hours. I was awoken by the sound of the doorbell. 

--

I got up, a little scared to see who it was.. Who would come by today? Actually, who would come by anyway?

When I opened the door I was relieved, but disappointed.. I think in the pit of my stomach, I always hope to see Talal somewhere and the front of my door would've been the perfect place.

It was Ben the mail man.. I smiled, he was one of the very few real people in my life, and doesn't know the screwed up side of me. 

Ben: Hey Dalal! How are you today? 

Dalal: Hey Ben! I'm good thankyou, how are you?

Ben: I'm great, thanks for asking. You look like you've just woken up?

Dalal: Yeahh, I had a late night yesterday.

Ben: Ohh, okay well this came in just a half hour ago for you.

He handed me an envelope, smiled then left just turning to wave at the stairs.

I closed the door after him, then sat on my bed and opened it to find a letter.

Dear Dalal, 

.......................................................

Chapter 22

I know I said i'm not going to post, but I missed it, and I can't post tomorrow because I have plans and will be out really late so thought i'd post today and not leave you guys hanging :)

--

Previously:

But tonight,  I grabbed them and went to the nearest 24-hour bank. I withdrew the amounts, while being eyed by all the women in there for being dressed like a hooker.. Which I technically was, but not for a reason of financial instability. 

--

I don't know why I felt weird. It's been a year and I miss Talal. I often wondered if what I did was the right thing, I mean I left from the hospital back home for a few things like my passport, wallet, a little clothing...etc then I'd left to the airport and headed for the US. I didn't even go to somewhere safe, no no no, I chose to go for New York, down in the... hood? 

I hated what I had become, but I just.. the UAE haunted me, and I didn't WANT anything to do with it..

I closed my phone after I left.. I opened it every once in a while to see what's going on, just incase anything extremely important happened. I always found hundreds of messages from Talal, telling me he's sorry, telling me how he should've been more careful of me and taken care of me, telling me that i'm everything to him and he can't forgive himself for hurting me without me forgiving him. I always felt like complete and utter shit, I hated what I had done to him.. I wanted to call so many times, but what would I say? I'm afraid he sees my number and gets extremely excited and I run out of words and disappoint him..

I looked at the clock next to me and it was 2am, dammit.. I've wasted another night thinking about everything. Then an idea hit me, it was still the afternoon back in the UAE.. and well, I doooo have an American number so IF I called Talal, he wouldn't reaaallyyyy know that it was me. I started making up excuses, I had finally found the guts to dial his number and call. 

--

Talal's point of view:

This year has been hell, I've been doing bad in university, all I think about is Dalal.. What the hell happened to her and where she went, if she's okay.. I miss her. I just want a chance to talk to her.. Tell her how much I love her, that I'll never let her go.. Tell her how sorry I am.

I was sitting in my car, waiting for my friend to leave his house so I could follow him to his fathers company.. I was going to apply there for a job.

006********* calling.

I thought it was just one of those weird numbers that scam you so I pressed close and hung up.

006******** calling.

Hung up.

DING. New Text Message..

006**********: Talal

006********** calling.

I was confused, I don't remember who I know from the US, I have a few friends there but I've got their numbers. 

I answered.

--

Back to Dalal's point of view: 

No no no no no no I shouldn't of done this.. I stayed quiet, I didn't WANT to hang up, I wanted to hear what his voice, and hear what he'd say.

Talal: Alooo

His manly voice interrupted my thoughts.

Dalal: Umm

I didn't know what to say so I shut up, yet again.

Talal: Who is this?

No answer.

Talal: Helooo?

I inhaled and exhaled, to show him that I'm still there.

Talal: Helooooo, who is this?

I stayed quiet, then sniffed my nose.

Talal: Umm.. Is

I wanted to hear what he'd say, so I made an e7m noise.

Talal: This is Dalal.. isn't it?

--

Talal's point of view:

I knew it. As soon as she said umm, I knew her voice like the alphabet. I hestitated at first, but she stayed queiet after my question.

*Hang up noise*

I looked back at my phone to find that she had hung up, now I KNOW it was her. I ran out of my apartment and went straight to the phone agency, and tried to find out where she was.

2 hours later I was on a plane to the US.

--

Dalal's point of view:

WHAT DO I DO? I was freaking out. HE KNEW IT WAS ME. AHHHH WHY DID I HANG UP? 

But at that specific moment, something crossed my mind that I had COMPLETELY forgotten about ever since I found out about it.

Just to remind the readers about it, here remember this part:

Dalal: Last question.. Who, who's my biological father?

Dad: 

^ That was from chapter 15, I know you all probably forgot about it but I completely forgot about it as well and didn't mention it, but I always did know who I wanted the father to be so please, bear with me as I mix up a lot with the story and twist it.

I started to think about whether Talal should know who my real father was, after all, he knew the man very well.

I started to fall asleep after a while of thinking and coming out of nothing, then pulled it for another 15 hours. I was awoken by the sound of the doorbell. 

Chapter 21

Hello again! I know, I seem to talk more than I most. I'm sorry, and I come bearing bad news. Schooool! I'm excited for school, I really really am! Sadly though, it gets harder every year and well, there are some things I've got to prove to myself, it's a personal issue that I'm trying to over-come. So I hope you all excuse me, and allow me to post only in the weekends. I know I already posted a post about it, but I'm just reminding you that I will only be posting in weekends.

--

Previously:

I woke up in a hospital room with Talal in my lap, bags under his eyes with a dry tear on his cheek. 

What the hell was going on? :S

--

I shook my leg a little so that Talal would wake up, he sprung his head out instantly. As soon as he saw me with open eyes, he eyes lit up and a big smile formed on his face. It caused me to smile as well, his smile was always one of his most handsome features. 

Talal: 7amdella 3al salamah.

Dalal: Allah ysalmak. Umm.. Talal, what happened? :S

I was confused, all I remember is unbearable pain. 

Talal frowned, not wanting to answer the question, then sighed after a mental debate. 

Talal: I don't know, you woke up and started screaming like crazy about your stomach, I went to grab the car keys and get you to the hospital, but when I removed the blanket there was blood all over underneath you. I looked, but there were no cuts or anything.. 

He stopped, turned his head and just stopped speaking.

I was getting impatient.

Dalal: Is the baby okay??

I didn't think I had developed many feelings for this baby, seeing as it's Youssef's as well, but for some reason my first worry was the baby, not myself.

Talal turned back at me with shiny eyes and said two words that changed everything for the next year and a half of my life. 

Talal: She died.

Talal sprung out of his chair right then and came in to hug me, but I stayed emotionless for the next 3-5 minutes, once he noticed I hadn't cried or anything, he got up confused and faced me. I knew it wasn't Talal's fault, but anger grew inside of me. Not grief, not sadness, nothing but anger. I felt angry with the world, and all I wanted was to live alone and die when it's my time.

I got out of my bed, and starting walking. Talal rushed and held my hand, telling me I'm not supposed to be out of bed until I'm feeling better. That feeling of electricity when Talal usually touched me, it was gone. Now, it was just more rage.

I looked back at him, with hateful eyes and gave him a look that would've scared a sumo fighter. He let go of my arm, immediately. I walked to the door, and left. Left to the wrong part of the world, left to all the trouble, I.. Just.. Left.

--

1 year later.

I was walking through the black hallway between the club and old pet shop, feeling a little bit tipsy. I was laughing hysterically, crookedly walking towards 2 men.. One was black, and big. He looked like that security guard from The Suite Life On Deck, just scarier. I could see a gun tucked up under his jacket, because he was bending down and punching the other man, who looked white even though it was very dark.

The white man begged for mercy. I walked over and the black man looked up at me, gave me a slight smirk and opened his hand for me.

I reached into my ripped, skin-tight old leggings, to find my silver knife and handed it to him. I watched my boy-friend, the man I picked up on the street, the man who offered me money to sleep with him.. I watched him dig the knife deep into the white mans heart and twist it, making sure he died. 

The white mans pupils shrunk a little, and he was still. 

Gerard, my boy-friend.. stood up and opened his hand again for me to hold. I walked with him back into the bar, then excused myself to go to the "bathroom". 

I climbed out through the bathrooms window, and made my way back to white mans body. I gently shut his eyes, prayed he'd rest in peace and that god forgave him and myself for all our sins. I went back into the bar to find Gerard with a lady on-top of him bouncing up and down. I watched her in disgust, but was I really any different?

I pushed away all my conscience's words, and left the bar. I walked around a little through the night, then just left back to my apartment. I still had so many checks, filled with crazy amounts of money that my paintings were being sold for by Ahmed. I just didn't try to take the money, I wanted to leave my past. 

But tonight,  I grabbed them and went to the nearest 24-hour bank. I withdrew the amounts, while being eyed by all the women in there for being dressed like a hooker.. Which I technically was, but not for a reason of financial instability. 

Chapter 20

Previously:

We drove around for only about 10 minutes, Talal just played the radio and stayed quiet. When we stopped, I looked to find a restaurant named "Carlucio's", Yummy I thought, it was Italian, my favorite!

--

When we entered, I got the weirdest hint of disgust. I wanted to vomit from the smell I usually drool over.. I stood still and got a little dizzy, holding a hand onto my stomach. Talal stopped right away and asked what was wrong, but all I could do was shake my head and point a finger at my mouth, trying to show him that I needed to vomit. 

Talal quickly asked about the bathroom and carried me there, he held my hair back as I vomited my guts out. He was rubbing my back gently, telling me that I was going to be okay. 

As soon as I finished, Talal carried me into his car and began driving to the hospital. We saw a doctor, he took some blood examples and told us to wait 10 minutes. We both sat quietly waiting for an answer, when the doctor finally showed up, Talal sprung out his chair, releasing a worried expression he's been hiding since we entered the restaurant. 

The doctor looked a little confused, and was scratching his head trying to find the words to say. That worried me a little and I could see it was killing Talal. 

The Doctor: Umm.. Ms. Dalal.. I'm sorry but did you know that you're pregnant?

He was overly confused and seemed a little worried to say this in front of Talal, worrying about the different situations in which Talal would be extremely mad and kill both the doctor and I. 

I chuckled at his question and said I do. 

The Doctor: Does the father know?

I stiffened at his question and remembered how Youssef reacted, but Talal saved me right away, also surprising me with his answer.

Talal: The father is dead to both Dalal and I, he isn't in our lives and doesn't want a baby. But I'm going to be the this baby's dad, maybe not his/her biological father, but I will be a good dad to him and love him like my own. 

The doctor was a little nervous at Talal's answer, but he let out a smile in a few seconds, relaxing to the idea and trusting Talals' words. 

Talal reached out to hold my hand when he saw the big smile on my face, and squeezed it as tight as he could while he gave me a warm smile, assuring me that it will be okay.

A tear made it's way to my eye, I was happy. I was thankful, for him. 

The doctor later assured us that the dizziness was just my body's way of reacting to the pregnancy, and adapting to it. I could see Talal's relief, and it made me even happier. 

Talal and I made our way back to his apartment, forgetting our dinner. Once we got home, Talal's nervous expression came on. 

He held my hand and led me to the couch area, made sure I was sitting down then goes to his room and comes back and stands in front of me, forcing me to make a decision that I didn't think would be too hard. 

Talal: Dalal I messed up last time and didn't tell you how I felt, but now.. I'm going to tell you everything on my mind. Dalal, I've loved you from the very start, from the beginning of our friendship, I never told you because I didn't want to ruin our friendship but now.. You love me as well.. And Dalal, I don't care that you're pregnant, I've promised you that it was my job to take care of you, you're the only one I want to love and cherish you, and if that means also taking care of a baby I will, and he's from you.. I swear he'll be from MY family, 'cause you're mine. I love you, and I'll treat him like my own, I'll take care of you both, we can get away from all of this, just say yes to my question. 

He paused and got down on his knees, making me extremely nervous of what was coming next..

Talal: Dalal, will you marry me?

I started smiling like an idiot, happy about this, I wanted to answer with a yes. But something held me up.. I was two months pregnant, what the heck would people think? 

I wondered about how we would explain it.. If Talal was worth it.

I came to conclusion with what made me happy. In the end, I knew I always did what would make others happy, and I was done with that. I love him and he loves me and we're going to love this baby. 

I looked up at Talal, who still looked very anxious to hear my answer, and a little scared it might not be a yes. I smiled as big as I could, held his face between mine and looked deep into his eyes.

Dalal: HELL YESSS!!!

Talal took a few seconds but realized what I said and carried me in for a rib-cracking hug. 

We stayed together all night, and all Talal would talk about was how happy he was, and how happy I made him.. All I could do was hug him tighter, I didn't want to let go.. 

I fell asleep in his arms on the couch, the last thing I remember was him suggesting baby names (both boys and girls). I woke up though, still in his arms on the bed underneath the blanket. I was tight in his grip, and he was asleep peacefully. I tried to wriggle out slowly, trying not to wake him up. But what came next, caused me to scream in agony and smack Talal's face. 

Talal woke up terrified, I was screaming and tears were running down my cheeks, there was an unbelievable pain in my stomach. Talal jumped from his place and ran to grab his car keys and carried me to the hospital. 

--

I woke up in a hospital room with Talal in my lap, bags under his eyes with a dry tear on his cheek. 

What the hell was going on? :S

Please Read This!

Hello everyone, again.

I just wanted to tell you all that my school year begins next Sunday, I'm only 14 and it's not going to be an extremely hard year. But I and all of the closest people to me, are expecting me to get extremely good grades. I've set a challenge for myself concerning grades, and I plan to succeed.
During the school year, I will only be posting in weekends. I'll post on Friday and Saturday.
IF, during the week I am able to post and I have no homework and nothing to revise, I will think of you all first and write a post.
I'm so sorry, I really thought I would be able to write daily. When I first just started reading blogs, I thought it's easy and the bloggers took too long and were over-reacting. After starting a blog, I see how hard it is to write long posts, to satisfy all the readers, to post daily, to keep up with your personal life, your social life, your education... etc. Also, it's really hard ALWAYS finding the ideas to write with. You all read this for entertainment and for a good read, and I want to give that to you, not something I've barely written and barely thought of just so I satisfy you all with a post! That's not how it should work.

I really am sorry.

Thankyou for everyone for understands what I am saying.

Love you all, <3. 

Chapter 19

This is a very short post, just because so many of you have spoken to me personally to post something new. I'm so sorry I haven't been posting daily, neither have they all been long. I was really hoping to make this chapter really long, but I had a big meal for dinner and kind of went crazy afterwards, I got home and I've got a major headache with a horrible stomach ache plus I can feel my throat begin to swell. I'm already feeling the sickness coming. I've had a rough couple of days, just please give me some time to relax. School starts in a week, and all my friends suddenly want to hang out now, it's just hard keeping up with my school summer reading, my blog, my social life, my personal reading and my personal shows. 
Thank-you to everyone who's been patient. 

--

Previous Post:

After a minute or so, which felt like much less to me, obviously wanting to continue it a little longer.. I lightly tried pushing away, having taken out all of my feelings. I was smiling like an idiot, so was Talal. Until he realized I had pushed away, his big smile turned into a frown, and his eyes filled with worry and embarrassment. 

I chuckled a little at his face expression.

Talal: I'm, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have.. 

Pause. 

Talal: Why did you stop?

I started laughing out loud, was he serious? He was so cute. I really wanted to just hug him and squish him, like a little baby. 

--

I was still smiling and really happy, but for some reason, I wondered why he'd kiss me. I confessed my love for him, and he said nothing. 

Dalal: Talal, why'd you kiss me?

He smiled at the thought of it, then just simply says:

Talal: Because.

He stops. I waited for 10 seconds to see if he was going to give me a reason, but that was his reason.

Dalal: Because what..?

I was a little frustrated, but I was still smiling. 

Talal eyed me from top to bottom, my cheeks began turning red again. He went back up again eye-ing me, he seemed to have been thinking. He stopped at my lips, throwing him off of his inner discussions. This guy really had to put me in awkward situation ey?

He looks up then, tells me to put on my shoes because we were leaving. I didn't say anything, but I really wanted to ask him to get some food because it was about 7 or so pm, and I was really hungry. 

He held my hand and led me the car.. It was nice, holding his hands. It's a little cliche but our hands fit perfectly together, he would squeeze on my hands every minute or so, causing me to smile all over again.

We drove around for only about 10 minutes, Talal just played the radio and stayed quiet. When we stopped, I looked to find a restaurant named "Carlucio's", Yummy I thought, it was Italian, my favorite!

Music

Helooo :D. I know, you guys are all probably expecting Chapter 19. But I only wrote half of it, and took a break to listen to some music. I thought I'd share some songs with you that I really like, some of them aren't even related to Split Screen Sadness, but they help pop open my mind for some ideas! :p

Kiss Me - Ed Sheeran
A Face to Call Home - John Mayer
So We Stay Us - Andreas Moe
Never Forget You - Lupe Fiasco
These Little Lies - Dave Barnes
Love is a Fire - Courrier
Undone - Haley Reinhart
Brighter than the sun - Colbie Caillat
Alligator Sky - Owl City ft. Shawn Christopher
Hate Sleeping Alone - Drake
Alibi - David Gray
The End Where I Begin - The Script

^ Some are old, but I thought I'd let you guys in on what I do to get some ideas for writing, that's what I listen to right now.

Oh, and my favorite song.. Yellow - Coldplay