Fear - Chapter 12

We all know a teenager's life may sound pathetic and stupid, but a teenage girl is VERY hormonal.. Now what would a 15 year old girl do when she's in love with two brothers, one of which is her best friend, and she gets kicked out of her house by her mom.. All in the same day? 

-

What do girls do when they're sad?

Some girls shop, some girls cut themselves, some girls cry, some girls complain on twitter, some girls call their boyfriends, Lama? Finds a very fun way to make it better.. 

Lama called her driver, and gave him the bags that were at the door and ordered him to bring it to  the Sheraton (It's a hotel if anyone doesn't know it). She went along with him and made a reservation for a few days until she could talk to her dad about what's happened. She used her credit card to get the best room they had, and went up to change afterwards. She wore very revealing clothes; she wore a short red dress that hugged her curves beautifully with only one strap  on it that was covered with flowers. She matched this with black heels that were to die for. 

Next stop, a club! She made her way to the W Hotel where there was a very known club, not forgetting her fake ID which didn't need a fake picture because most people would tell her she looked 16 anyways so she just needed to use an ID that said she was 16 instead of 15. 

When she got there, the man at the door was going to not let her in, until she slid her body close to his and gave him her famous puppy dog face. His hands dropped by his sides then began to open the door for him, hypnotized by her beauty. 

When she entered the room, a few heads turned and were dazzled by her beauty yet sexiness. She walked to the bar clicking her heels delicately making an impression on everybody that was looking. As she was walking, the song Give Me Everything Tonight played. She reached the bar and stood next to a man that she couldn't see so closely because of the dim lights. She could only see that he had a nicely lined up body because it caught her eyes as she walked towards the bar. She tried not to stare and ordered the bartender to give her a shot of vodka. 

She wasn't planning on getting drunk, but she wanted to get a little lose and forget her life for a night. When the bartender gave her the drink, the man next to her pulled out a 500QR note before she could place the money and told the bartender it was on him. He grabbed the shot that was already placed in front of him and turned to face her, his arm slightly in front of him ready to crash their cups into together to make a toast but when they caught each other's eyes everything around them stopped. They were both very very very surprised causing the sly smirk that was plastered on his heavenly face and the dizzy alcohol effect to both be swiped off his face. 

Suggestion

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He's got an amazing story and he's coming close to an end, ya3ni close to a book! ;)

He needs all the support he can get :D! Get following guys!! :D 

Fear - Chapter 11

He leaned closer and closer and closer, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand..

For the second time today.

...: WTF ARE YOU DOING? 

I looked up extremely fast to find Abdulaziz at the door, looking shocked. I grew confused though, was it because we're on his bed? I let myself fall back onto his bed, and ran my hands through my hair. Nasser who was still next to me stood up and left the room, elbowing his brother before he left. 

I looked up again to Abdulaziz and he seemed.. angry and upset. I didn't know why though, being completely honest. Adding on, I was not bothered to ask and have a sob story right now. 

--

2 minutes of staring at each other, and guilt hit me cause he seemed like he wanted/needed to talk. 

Lama: Abdulaziz shu malak ?

Abdulaziz: Ana? La wala shi, salamtk

Lama: Aziiiiizzzzzzzz, come on don't be like that

Abdulaziz: Be like what? It's fine, it's completely normal to almost kiss two brothers in a matter of an hour right? It's fine, wallah i'm fine 

He winked at me and turned to leave from the room, but before he did he looked down and muttered: 

Abdulaziz: I thought you were in love with me.. 

He continued and left the room, closing the door behind him. I sat in my place thinking, did I love Abdulaziz? Why did I not stop the kiss? I was leaning in to kiss him too right? Wait wait.. My brain stopped me when I remembered Nasser.. I sat there for what seemed like hours, contemplating the options and the pros and cons between the brothers and when I came to conclusion, boy did I wish I hadn't met either of them!

I was stuck between two guys; two brothers. 

I quickly got up and left as quickly as I could, I walked home, not bothering to call the driver and wait for him. 

Now now we all know that when we ask ourselves if it could get any worse, we don't mean it! And when I asked myself if it could get any worse.. It did in fact. I found myself at my doorstep with 4 big bags on the stairs with a note on top saying:

مافي مكان بهذا البيت لك بعد أن زرتي والدك 

*Sorry for it not all being spelled right, it's not fu97a, it's just Palestinian but written in Arabic to show that her mom wrote it. 

Underneath these words was a smirk face and a dash with the letters D & L. 

So.. My mom kicked me out? 

We all know a teenager's life may sound pathetic and stupid, but a teenage girl is VERY hormonal.. Now what would a 15 year old girl do when she's in love with two brothers, one of which is her best friend, and she gets kicked out of her house by her mom.. All in the same day? 

Fear - Chapter 10 - Part B

...: WTF ARE YOU DOING?

I heard a furious voice in the background. 

Abdulaziz flew off of me really quickly to find none other than his very very VERY angry brother at the door. 

Nasser: ANSWER ME. 

Abdulaziz looked down, unable to answer, so I stood up.. I didn't see a reason to all this fuss he was making! And secretly, I didn't want that moment to end! 

Lama: Why is it any of your business?

Abdulaziz shot his head up and gave me a look telling me to shut up. I moved my head to look at Nasser, who was now fuming.

Nasser: MY BUSINESS? HOW IS IT NOT MY BUSINESS LAMA? DID YOU FORGET WHO I AM? 

His face turned a very dark red, and I had a feeling this wasn't going anywhere good but when my anger got the best of me? it got the best of me! There was no going back. 

Lama: YES I FORGOT.. MAYBE CAUSE YOU LEFT. 3 F*CKING YEARS. YOU LEFT. WITHOUT ANY TYPE OF GOODBYE.. 

I lowered my head, my anger had brought back an emotional side to this whole situation and memory.. A tear was forming in my eye but I just continued with 2 words.

Lama: You.. left. 

I ran upstairs, avoiding their eyes staring at me. When I got to abdulaziz's room, all I did was grab one of his large t-shirts and get into his bed curling up into a ball. My tears escaped my eyes.. And just like any girl, my whole life flashed before my eyes while I cried.. I thought about Nasser, what we had. 

Should I have waited for him?

No. He left. For a whole year I didn't do anything. He just left! He left just a few days after my father left, and he KNEW how affected I was by my parents divorce, yet.. he left.

So no, I kept telling myself.. I should not have waited for him.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Lama: GO AWAY

The door opened anyway, and there Nasser was standing.. He looked at me for a few seconds, then closed the door while still staring at me, and walked my way.

--

He laid down on the bed next to me, and tucked himself in as well. We stared into each others eyes for a while, trying to read each others minds. Then he moved his thumb up and wiped my tears away.. 

Nasser: I'm sorry.

He stopped.. then:

Nasser: I'm so so so sorry Lama.. I'm an assh*le, I know.. I'm so sorry. 

I couldn't. Was it even normal that this guy hurt me uncontrollably yet I couldn't let him say these things about myself? and that <--- is exactly what I told him.

Lama: Don't say that about yourself.. Despite the fact that I was barely 13 years old. Despite the fact that I loved you, and god knows how much is still in me for you.. Despite the fact that you've hit me before. Despite the fact that you left.. Don't say that about yourself. At the end of the day, you know that I could never really hate you. I guess you were just a confused 15 year old back then...

I smiled a tight smile trying to hold back my tears.. Why was I being nice to this guy? UGH I thought to myself, obviously.. I was too nice and naive. 

But what made me think twice about my thoughts was Nasser's wide smile. It made me smile a bigger smile, and I was genuinely happy for making him smile. 

But do good things ever last?

Obviously, my question was answered when I felt Nasser's hand running my waist, pushing me closer to him.. And being the stupid girl that I was, did I stop him?






Nope.

He leaned closer and closer and closer, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand..

For the second time today.

...: WTF ARE YOU DOING? 

Fear - Chapter 10 - Part A :D

Next off, I was thrown on the largest sofa they had but I didn't let go. I held on to his neck, causing him to fall with me. It was a mistake though, because he ended up on top me, both of us laughing and our breaths quick and short.

His face began getting closer and closer. I didn't push away. I have no idea why, but I didn't. I closed my eyes as his lips began to get closer to mine. 

...: WTF ARE YOU DOING?

I heard a furious voice in the background. 

--

Just to give you all something to think about hehe :D 

Will be posting Part B tonight ;) Inshallah it will be long!

HAVE AN AWESOME VACATION GUYS!!

Fear - Chapter 9

I was surprised.. to say the least.

As soon as I entered the house, Nasser was walking out of the kitchen, head buried in his chest while he quickly typed a message on his Samsung S3.

I was mind-blown to say the least.. It's been what? 3 years?

I stared a little, him not noticing me, until I felt a strong bump against my nose and a second later a crash on the ground.

I screamed a little "OW" and then looked at, my eyes are a little teary to see Nasser staring at me in shock.

Nasser: Uhh umm I'm, I'm so sorry!! Are you ok?

He spoke with a perfect American accent, his voice manlier than it was the last I heard of it.

I don't think he realized it was me.. Aaaaand I spoke too soon. Less than a minute later, his face turned a very light shade of red that was barely noticeable and he was Nasser again.

Nasser: Um. Ahlain Lama

He smiled a tight smile.

Nasser: Ana 6ale3, mnshook 3la 5air Inshallah.

Just like that, he was out of the door.

I stood there for a few minutes dumbfounded reminiscing the past. I was remembering Nasser and everything from the past..

I came back to reality after about 3-5 minutes, and just reluctantly made my way upstairs to Abdulaziz's room.

I went in there and threw myself on the sofa.

Abdulaziz: You saw him, didn't you?

I shot my head up and answered quickly.

Lama: When did he come back?

I stopped then started again.

Lama: Did you tell me to come here just to see him?

I stopped and then started again.

Lama: 5alas whatever, araw7 ya3ni?

I stopped. I was about to get ready again but instead I felt Abdulaziz's hands on my mouth stopping me from talking.

Abdulaziz: Oskoti ya5i, ma bt3rfi shi!

He took his hand off of my mouth and then carried me downstairs to the kitchen and put me on a stool.

I stayed silent until he came back from the living room with a bag of Burger King in his hands. Immediately, Nasser was out of my mind and the whopper that was about to arise the bag was so much more important!

Abdulaziz and I ate our burgers in silence until..

Abdulaziz: Hala2 ibtskti ha?

He smiled a smile like "I just owned you"!

I looked down at the pickle that was thrown at the wrapper, picked it up, stood up and pressed it against his forehead, twisting it.

Abdulaziz's face expression changed, the next thing I knew I was off the ground, and being rushed to the living room. 

I was screaming like a maniac and banging on his back to put me down, but Abdulaziz would never back down, of course; his ego too big.

Next off, I was thrown on the largest sofa they had but I didn't let go. I held on to his neck, causing him to fall with me. It was a mistake though, because he ended up on top me, both of us laughing and our breaths quick and short.

Looks & Judgements

I'm sorry if you're all expecting a post of Fear. Being completely honest, I don't know what the next chapter should be like, so as soon as I have something interesting, I'll be sure to write the next chapter. Inshallah I will have it written by Friday. Sorry for taking long guys, but as every other blogger also says, I have school, and I have my social life, and really? I need my personal timing! I'm the type of person who needs to take time out of my everyday to analyze my actions and think of things in different perspectives, and even think about improving myself.

Anyways though, I'm a teenager and obviously, what crosses my mind everyday are the people around and the person that I am. Therefore, today I'm just writing out some thoughts about the society we live in.

How many of you think that looks play a very big role to how you're judged? You know, being judged doesn't mean that it's always a negative judgement. I think that if you're pretty or handsome, people seem to judge you positively, they think that you're a cool person who they'd want to befriend. But if people look at a girl who's chubby, or a guy with pimples lets say, automatically they just assume they are losers.

Has anyone every wondered why these judgements exist? There stereo-types?

I'll tell you why, and this really does cross my mind everyday so what I'm saying is something I truly believe and try to understand everyday.

We all watch movies, and series, and read books right? Right.

I think that the media, and the movies/series and so forth really affect our way of thinking, and the perspective we have on others.

I mean, come on. What movie doesn't portray the hot guy and the beautiful girl with the perfect body as the two lovers who end up getting married? Girls, that's why you find yourselves clinging on to guys who are good-looking, it's because you have it imprinted inside of you to think that this guy could turn out to be your fairy tale man. But really, have you taken the time to think about his personality? I'm not trying to say that looks don't matter, because it's stupid to say that I'm not going to look at someone before I think about falling for them or dating them (which I don't do) but you know what I mean, that's just human nature. But I'll tell you this, I won't look at a guy and think that just because he's ugly, I'm not going to consider him. I've actually met and fallen for guys who are completely the opposite of what the society portrays the perfect men to be like, but they are the perfect man on the inside! Getting to know someone's personality is essential, you may think someone isn't attractive, but I swear the personality can really change someone's level of attractiveness. Adding on, I've met some really HOT guys who are jerks, they are complete and utter jerks and they're selfish and only self-loving.

Adding on, I don't only mean to talk about falling for people for looks. But also looking at a girl and seeing that she's over-weight doesn't mean that she's automatically not a fun person to be around! I myself am fat. Trust me when I say, I'm EXTREMELY energetic next to LOTS of girls I know that are really skinny. You honestly never know why someone is over-weight, or have rough skin, or dress in a style that YOU don't like. I've met people and thought about their faces being burned or something and thought that made them ugly, but when I met them I'd find out they were in a car accident where one of their siblings died. <--- That was a personal encounter. Can you imagine that?

To be honest, I've been judgmental before, I'm not the perfect person, and I do judge sometimes, but when I realize what I'm doing, I restrain from it and I go and do whatever I can to go against it. I hate that I judge people sometimes, but I try stopping it. I don't think anyone can live life without judging, but I think that people could try and stop themselves, just try to go meet the people you're judging just to show YOURSELF how silly you're being.

Again, I'm sorry for putting all your hopes high into thinking this is a post but I just felt the need to put this out there!

Take care guys! :D

Fear - Chapter 8

I rang the doorbell at my fathers house then waited a minute or two until the housemaid came and opened the door for me. She was very cheerful and was dressed in a pink suit.

Lama: Hi, can I speak to Mr. Al X please?

Housemaid: Yes yes come in please

She led me to their guest room as I walked slowly behind her, scanning the pictures and walls and furniture. The guest room was beautiful, the couches were golden with ancient looking off-white designs.

My father came downstairs a few minutes later with his pants pulled high and blue t-shirt, he was off to work soon I guess. He looked thinner than before, I guess he doesn't take care of himself to treat his diabetes.. My heart skipped a beat, I missed him.

He never mis-treated me once, he was always such a great father.

When he saw me, he immediately hurried to me and gave me a hug.

Dad: 7abeebty shu 3am ti3mili hon? Is everything ok?

His eyes were worried, and my heart ached knowing that he thinks I'd only come see him in an emergence situation. I regretted in that moment never coming to visit my father, but it's not my fault that my mom hated him.

She threatened to kick me out of the house a few times. Plus I'd hear her plan with my sisters everyday about new ways she could take more money from him!

I opened my mouth to answer him, but I heard some click clacking on the stairs to find my father's wife Hana walk downstairs looking very casual. She was wearing capris and a t-shirt with slippers with an apron on top.

She looked quite surprised when she saw me, but she came downstairs anyways and greeted me.

Hana: Ahlain 7abeebty!! Zaman 3annek, keefik?

She walked to me and kissed both my cheeks while shaking my hand.

Before I got a chance to speak, yet again.

Hana: o3odi 7abeebty, irta7i!! Ahla w sahla!!

Her smile was very wide looking very natural and genuinely real.

I sat down and then began.

Lama: Thanks for letting me in and welcoming me so joyfully.. 3anjad I didn't expect this, 7assait if I come here after so long of not contacting my father, I just thought you'd be too disappointed in me to see me.

My father was about to cut but I kept going.

Lama: Baba ana.. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, inta lsa abooy w ba7ibak.. W if you'd let me, I'd love to make place for myself in your life again.. We can start low if you want.

A frown was on my place but I kept trying to smile, to not cry. I didn't even know why I wanted to cry! I just didn't know! I was confused to say the least.

My dad got up and came next to me and hugged me.

Dad: 7abeebty I'd LOVE to have you back in my life.. I've missed you so much.. You really have no idea.. 7ata we can arrange that you come sleep over on the weekends if that makes you happier and more comfortable! W mafee low relationship or whatever, you're my daughter w i love you w bas!

He smiled. It was so natural. It felt amazing to know that someone loved me this much and wouldn't let me go. It really really did.. I really did need a parent like this.. Maybe this will help me be satisfied with myself and my life.

I spent a few hours catching up with my father and his wife Hana, we talked and laughed and they were awesome!

But.. There's always a but!

I felt like they were hiding something from me.

I tried to sweep it off and just go with the flow though..

After I left their house, I was off and back to my house to return the car. I got home, went straight upstairs through the back door so I wouldn't have to confront my mother or sister. I grabbed some pj's (shorts and a tank top) and went back down stairs to tell the driver to drop me off at "Muneeras" house since I knew he would tell my mom that he dropped me off at Aziz's and she would know I sleep over there sometimes..

On the way, I texted my mom and told her that I'll be spending the night at Muneera's.

When I got there, my heart skipped a beat and I smiled automatically. I loved spending time with aziz.

As soon as I entered though, I was surprised... to say the least. 

Fear - Chapter 7

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to fly? To soar through the sky?
Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be an eagle? Owning his territory?

Sky-diving puts an end to your questions..

I was up there and there was nothing on my mind, it was just me, myself and the sky. It was beautiful, exhilarating, incredible...

I wanted to be a bird, and to continuously fly and roam this world from above, watching everybody and be high in the sky, not able to get tangled into it..

Ahh.. I pulled the parachute when I saw land a little more clearly, and my fall became a little more controlled as I slowed down, finally having the chance to settle down and enjoy the beauty of the world from so high.

I didn't ever stop to think of the good things in life until today.

Not so long after, I landed peacefully and waited for the worker to come and unhook my suit.

Next, I was off to start a new page.

--

First, I headed to Abdulaziz's.

As soon as I arrived to his house, I rang the bell and waited for an answer. Mary opened the door, his maid since he was a baby since his mom passed away during his birth and his father was always on business trips; avoiding his son as much as he could.

She let me in happily and let me escort myself to his room, since I've been here to many times before.

I entered his dark blue room to find him sitting cross-legged on his bed typing carelessly on his small macbook air while blasting his music into his earphones, his blackberry at his side flashing red lights indicating he was messaging. What caught my eye though was his face, he was frowning, not enjoying what he was doing. As soon as I walked in though, he lifted his head not expecting me then slowly took out his headphones and just stared at me.

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out.. I mean really, what did I have to apologize for?

I just simply went over to his bed and hugged him really tight for a few minutes, when I wanted to let go he held on tighter and whispered

Abdulaziz: I'm sorry Lamooyy, Lamooshhaa.. I over reacted once I saw you flirting with your teacher and I took it too seriously.

I smiled, my lips pressed against his neck and mumbled that I love him and it's okay.

He let go then but I stay next to him, we lied down and cuddled as I enjoyed his perfume that I so greatly loved.

After a few hours or just talking, and sometimes staying silent.. I got up and said that I have to leave, he tried to make me stay over but I said it was still midday, I told him I had to go fix a few things and promised to be back for a sleepover tonight.

He also promised me to have some burger king and ice-cream ready for when I came, so I walked out with a VERY wide grin plastered on my face!

--

Next stop, my fathers.

I kept thinking about the day he got divorced to my mother, it was 3 years ago. He kept begging me to go with him, he said I wouldn't be happy with her, he said she'd make me sad and upset all the time. But would a girl really leave her mother?
Apparently, I should've.

I never really knew the reason to their divorce.

What's odd though is, I don't really remember much from before I was 8 years old.

But I always chose to sweep it off and forget about it, I tried to convince myself it was normal. But on the way back to his house, after only seeing him twice in the 3 years, and both times not saying hi to him in Villaggio when I came eye-to-eye with him. It started to make me wonder about my past more.. Why couldn't I remember any of it ? And why is it that all I can remember is bad times between them ? I don't remember good, but I don't remember what came before me!

By the time my thoughts were about to get very messy, I was in front of his house.

I went down and rang the doorbell, barely nervous considering my risk-taking skills!

Fear - Chapter 6

I kept walking upstairs and wondered what they were going to do.

I couldn't stand there and listen because I knew that somehow I'd breakdown in front of them, which I didn't want.

But.. I did breakdown back in my room, sobbing and sobbing because this had to happen to me.

I wondered what I did to be treated this way, to be hated by my family! I just didn't know, I didn't know what I had done to make them hate me so much!

--

Ugh, I thought to my self. I was not this girl! I'm not going to cry over them. I don't care.

I kept trying to deny that I care about them and love them.

Denying = the answer to life.. I thought once again, trying to maintain my composure.

After having a dry face, no tears, I just got up and grabbed my iPod and went into our toilet.

I filled the bath-tub with really hot hater then dipped my legs inside while listening to some music, and it really did calm me down.

When I was done and drying my feet, I got a crazy idea.

--

I WANTED TO GO SKY DIVING.

I had no idea why. But I wanted to, and I was going to do it!

Maybe this will help me right? I quickly got dressed up in something comfy and casual then headed downstairs not bothering to call the driver, but took the car keys myself and drove there.

Driving was something I loved doing, it really made me feel relished.

 I got to the place I thought sky-diving was offered at.

--

I went in and asked about sky diving, thank god it was the place I thought to myself.

After waiting 30 minutes for them to fix everything up. They started teaching me what to do and what to wear.

PULL THE ROPE WHEN - I kept repeating all the steps to myself in my head, making sure I wasn't going to fall and die.

Next, I also took a picture.. It was completely useless, but I wanted to remember this! Who wouldn't, right?

I entered the helicopter and within minutes we were in the air and the door swung open, allowing the air to swoop in ever so vigorously.

I closed my eyes, counted to three and didn't take a thought.. I just jumped.

Fear - Chapter 5

When we got there, we had the "sister gossip" time, but it was based on..

Me. 

They asked all these questions about my life at school, my teenage life like popularity and what so. They also asked about boys.

The first thing that crossed my mind was Abdulaziz, even though I knew we were only friends.. So I decided to keep that to myself, and little did I know that was a great call from me!

When we got home, we saw my mom, she looked a little confused when she saw us together.

Lama: Halla mama

I tried smiling as big as I could just so she could let go of the argument in the morning and we wouldn't spend the night fighting then continue it again in the morning. 

Mama: Umm hi Lama..

She frowned, obviously still mad but it was a sign that she was considering letting it go.

Then was what I didn't see coming!

Dalal and Layan pushed me forward and began acting just like they normally do to me!

Dalal: Imshi yallah, odami 3al o6tk, lazm n7ki kalam mu 7atifhamee ma3 mama.

I gasped, literally! I was so shocked of their actions, could my sisters hate me so much that they acted like they liked me?

But the first question that came to my mind was.. Why?

Why pretend?

What was the plan behind all this?

I began to walk upstairs, thinking about the questions in my mind when I heard Layan talking and I understood it, I understood it all!

Layan: Mama we found out everything about her for you!! Now you can finally do what we talked about 3ashan tt3lm el 2adab!! 

I began getting a little scared and I stood in my place, wondering..

Wondering what the hell they were planning to do to me. 

Fear - Chapter 4

I texted aziz, called him.. Come on, I thought! He can't seriously be leaving my life. No way!! We're best-friends and he better stick to his side of the deal!!

I kept texting him, going from apologizing like a maniac to screaming in anger like a maniac, I left voice-messages 7atta singing his favorite songs!

I skipped last lesson just to text him and sing to him to apologize!

Uffftt

Nothing. Was. Working! Literally!!

--

After school, my mother called me telling me to go outside and that Dalal was here to pick me up..

Great! I though, 'Just what I needed'!

I saw her red BMW parked outside my school, so I walked and saw her blabbering on her phone with her bright red lipstick perfectly outlining her beautifully shaped lips.

I got into the car and was very surprised indeed.

Dalal: Halla 7abeeeebtyyy!! Keef el madrasa elyoum?

She kissed my cheek then and gave me a one armed hug.

Lama: Uhh Dalal.. Meen inti?

My straight face came on and I was ready to go ninja when someone suddenly flopped out of her mask, but no! It was here, no one jumped out or anything..

Dalal: What's wrong with you silly? It's meee!!

She started reversing her car out her parking and acting all perfect. I knew there was something wrong because this was NOT my sister when it came to me, she was only like this with her friends and with Layan!

We went home and had lunch and she was still acting very suspiciously.

After lunch, I sat down and watched TV, wondering which outing my mother was at now..

Then both Dalal and Layan surrounded me and jumped next to me on the couch with cheeky smiles.. To be completely honest, they scared me!

Lama: Na3am? O.O

Layan: Shu 3amla elyoum?

Lama: Wala shi, laish?

Dalal: 7abeen in6al3k, we've always not been good sisters, but we want to start over!

I don't know why, it sounded fishy, but at the same time.. I knew that deep down I've always wished my sisters would treat me like their sister.. There might be consequences, but what's wrong with having one day of an amazing feeling right?

I got up, turned to them and said:

Lama: Pedicure Manicures at Nails?!

They both looked at each, smiled, then headed up stairs to change but I just grabbed some knee length shorts and a t-shirt with slippers!

In about 7 minutes, we were off to Nails (Nails is this place for your nails in Qatar :p It's the most famous and the best at doing manicures and pedicures!).

After a car ride with singing out loud like crazy people, we finally arrived to Nails.. We all got red nail polish done on our feet and our hands!

When we were done, we waited for it to dry then left. On the way home, Dalal suggested we go and drink some slush or milkshake at Baskin Robbins!

I wondered if she suggested that because she knows I love their slushes and milkshakes or it was just a coincidence?!

When we got there, we had the "sister gossip" time, but it was based on.. 

Fear - Chapter 3

"This name is not in your contact list". It kept ringing in my head, but I tried to slip it off and think of it maybe being a mistake, but deep down.. I knew there was a reason, and it was not a mistake.

I walked to the cafeteria to find Abdulaziz sitting in our usual lunch table, looking pissed as ever. He was eating his daily apple with vulgarity.

Uh-ohh I thought..

I walked over to the table, smiled and sat down. As soon as he realized I was sitting next to him, he didn't even look up, he just took his apple, got up and walked away..

I followed him of course, for this guy was my best friend, and I couldn't live without him!

Lama: Abdulaziz! What's wrong?!

He kept walking.

Lama: DON'T IGNORE ME ABDULAZIZ.

He kept walking.

Lama: YEAH YEAH JUST SAY THAT YOU'LL ALWAYS BE UNDERSTANDING AND BE THERE FOR ME THEN BREAK YOUR PROMISES HA? IS THAT HOW IT IS?

He stopped. Ooooooooo I hit a soft spot I thought, as I mentally high-fived myself.

Not long after though, I was mentally slapping myself instead..

Abdulaziz: What's there to understand ha? Bending down in front of a male teacher for him to see your ass so you can seduce him?

I stared in disbelief.

Abdulaziz: I know you like to act out, but being low was never part of it, w23ti mn 3aini Lama..

He turned around and began to walk, so I ran and grabbed his shoulder and turned him around.

Abdulaziz: What Lama? What could you possibly want from me?!

Lama: I'm SO SORRY!!! I'm SORRY W I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU, YALLAH AZOOOZIII!

I gave him my puppy eyes face that he always fell for!

But this time.. He smiled slightly, removed my hand gently off of his shoulder and walked away..

Was he going to come back in or not?

Palestinian Poem

Hey guys, this is a poem about Palestine I wrote.. Hope you like it :D

Red, white, black and green. 

Moist red blood oozed from his petite figure; a little boy who fought for his father to be released from prison.

An ear-piercing noise came from behind her as the soldiers empty white soul hears her cries and feels exasperated. 

On the dry beige sand lay a mother and her youngest son in her arms, her long black silk Abaya damped with their sizzling blood. 

Finally, flexible green sticks begin to rise from the ground. A nation re-builds itself on the same land their citizens once lay dead on. 

But their souls will be avenged, for the fight has not ended; it has only just begun. 

Fear - Chapter 2

As I walked to the professors office, I giggled in the hallway, remembering the breeze of fresh air in this area of the school. I giggled at how funny it was to go in that way, I giggled at the fact that I made myself happy, somehow..

I went into his office to find the professor walking around and collecting papers that were left on the desk. I smirked a little as I reached for the door, my hands behind my back and slightly pushing it closed.

He stopped and eyed from head to toe then smirked, and might I say a VERY sexy smirk.

I enjoyed the moment as I took my time there, giving him looks that I made SURE affected him. He slowly walked back to his desk, put down the papers then came closer to me at the door until his face was only about 10cm away.

Professor: Lama was it?

Lama: Aha.. How come you have my name and I don't have yours?

He giggled a little then reached out to shake my hand.

Professor: Mr. Dabji, but it's Abdullah for you.

He winked at me, then stared at my lips. I smirked, I was laughing on the inside at the fact that he thought I might give in to him or something.. I sure thought he was hot, but I wasn't so low to cross the limits with a professor/teacher. I made a comment though, to show him that I was in control, and I was sure of his confusion and shock when I said it.

Lama: Don't you think you're a little too close to me, Abdullah?

I gave him a cheeky smile, some might call it the "bitch smile". It was funny, I always got a rush after acting out. It's like I got pleasure by getting attention, having control, it's what made me so great at trouble-making. I was a great student, I was smart and I was polite, but if I wanted to leave a mark, I could do it in with no effort.. With anyone.

He pulled back his face then turned around and spoke while he walked back to sit back in his seat.

Mr. Dabji (Abdullah): So what do you think is the proper punishment for interrupting my class today and wasting all our time and then leaving us with the unfortunate event of meeting you ?

I stood still. No one played MY game better than me. I started thinking, and thinking quickly might I add, I NEEDED to figure something out to say before he claimed the win.

Lama: The only unfortunate event was meeting you, hun.

As I walked over to him, making some effort to seduce him. I walked over to his desk and stood right next to his chair, and it was high so he was looking at all the inappropriate parts. I then moved my hand and purposely dropped the pen that was rolling on his desk, causing me to turn around and pick it up, making sure my shirt lifted as I bent down in front of his eyes. As I handed him the pen, he reached for my hand so I can give it to him, and I held on to his hand.. I knew exactly the effect I had on this teacher, he was attracted to me, the 15 year old, he looked about 8 years older than me, and he was attracted, to ME.. Adding on, that I loved it. This was definitely a high for me.

I then said to end the conversation and get out of there before it got too hot:

Lama: I'm sorry for interrupting your class, it won't happen again, thanks for the pointless 15 minutes of my life..

As I walked out, quickly but clearly saying my words, making sure they would stick in his head.

--

As soon as I walked out, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I was expecting a BBM from Abdulaziz, but it was just Darine.

* Darine is Lama's cousin who's also 15 years old, she goes to an english school as well but she attended a different one because their moms knew just how crazy Lama and Darine get together and didn't want them getting in trouble and ruining the family's high standard reputation.
* I'd just like to say that Darine is representing a friend of mine, her name isn't actually Darine but she specifically asked me to make a character about her, so I hope to use parts of her personality through this character and I hope you all see the craziness and fun I see in her. 

Dairne: Ta3ali 3indi lyoum, ma 3indi shi a3milo.

Lama: You only contact me when you're bored ? :p

I was just joking, because that's how our friendship was. As I waited for her to read my reply and answer, I left the chat to see where Abdulaziz was, but there was no sign of him on my BBM list and I had lost a contact, I was sure it was him since I only had 5 contacts on my BBM and didn't intend on extending that connection.

I read over the words a few times, making sure my blackberry wasn't just being silly.

"This name is not in your contact list". 

Fear - Chapter 1

* Lama

If the walls were continuously spinning and moving, I wouldn't notice because that's how I felt all the time.

--

I entered my maths class, late.. As usual and sat in the front seat that was always saved for me by Mustafa. Mustafa was big, and for some reason.. I always heard and smelled a lot of farting when he was next to me, I just didn't want to assume so I ignored it and began bringing perfume with me to school.

Today though, I had fought with my ignorant mother on the way to school, yet again, she was too busy for her daughter, too busy to drive me to my school that was less than 3 minutes away from our giant mansion. My mother hates me, I thought to myself after hearing her tell me that I am nothing to her, also once again. My sisters hate me, as I began to think about the awful things I heard them say about me last night.

*

Layan: She's so weird, mafee 2lha fayda eb hal beit..

Dalal: Mafrood ntbara mnha.

*

Memories began to flood my brain, and my eyes began to burn at the salty tears that surrounded them, fighting to be set free, to flow as heavily as they wanted/needed. Before they could though, I heard one of Mustafa's farts, except they were loud today which caused the whole class, including my white-haired moody 60 year old maths teacher, Mr. Fagto to turn around and stare at Mustafa. I looked at Mustafa who had a face that was as red as a tomato's, or slightly ever redder. He was a guy and was always known to be the tough guy, but I could see his eyes becoming a little teary. A pang of heart-ache hit my chest in pity for him, so I took control of the action and stopped them all.

I turned around, stood up and began to giggle, I looked down and covered my face with my arms, trying to act embarrassed but instead I made a farting noise with my mouth, I re-opened my hands to find everyone staring at me now.

Lama: Sorry! I had a really big breakfast today and you know those gases, they just can't be held in! Mr. Fagto, may I be accused to use the toilet, I have some serious business to attend to in there!

I watched Mr. Fagto just nod in agreement then gain back posture and begin to write on the board again, telling everyone who was giggling to get back to work. I walked to the door, then turned to Mustafa and winked, informing him that it was okay and it was under control.

As I walked to the bathroom in my luxurious high-school, amused of what I had just done, I began to giggle again, happy that I was able to climb out of my bad mood, help another and help myself in the process.

 I closed my eyes, testing my luck and tried to find the bathroom without looking at where I was walking. I touched a door, and assumed that it was the bathroom, so I placed my hand on the door, feeling for a door-knob. When I finally found it, I twisted it and entered, with my eyes still closed, over-exaggerating my luck today.

A breeze of cold air hit my face and I felt a few strands of my hair fly a little, messing up my braid, but I wasn't one to care so I kept walking until I bumped into something..

I stopped with my eyes still closed, contemplating whether I should open my eyes or not. Instead though, I put my hands on what it was so feel and see if it was a sink or toilet or what. Oddly though, I began to feel sharp objects of some sort, when I came one thing that was rolling, I opened my eyes as quickly as I could after understanding where I was.

I opened my eyes to see a teacher in front of me, he was hot.. I hadn't seen him before for sure because I would've noticed him! He had his arms crossed, highlighting his broad shoulders that were held by the Light Blue Polo Shirt he was wearing so perfectly. The next thing I heard, was the pencil my finger had touched, it had fallen on the floor.. I bent down to pick it up, my face turning all shades of red as I tried to figure out a way out of this. I stayed on the floor for a minute with my head facing downwards when I noticed shoes.

Lots and lots of shoes.

Lots and lots and LOTS of shoes.

My eyeballs began to look up to find a classroom for at least 20 11th graders who we're giggling and eyeing me. I also caught the a pair of eyes that I knew so well.. Abdulaziz's. I began to rise a little, VERY SLOWLY, as I turned around to meet the professors eyes again, he seemed angry but amused with my actions.

Professor: Please.. Take your time, keep going.. There is a rubber on the floor over there too.

I could sense the rudeness and the sarcasm in his voice, which ticked me off because I was mad, then happy and he just ruined my happy and brought me back to mad. I sprung up once again and walked to the so called eraser he was speaking of, picked it up, then walked with the slowest pace I was capable of to him, handing him the eraser. He smirked at me, it was so sexy, GOD WHY DID HE HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO PISS ME OFF.

Professor: What's your name?

I boldly looked at him, trying to show some courage, and said:

Lama: Lama.. Sir.

He eyed me from top to bottom, then opened his mouth to speak again.

Professor: You think this is a game, Lama?

I smiled, and didn't say a thing, allowing him to continue his words.

Professor: How about you leave my class right now because you've already wasted 10 minutes of it, but come back right after it since it's your lunch time?

I smiled,

Lama: Gladly!

Then giggled, and walked out of the classroom.

I couldn't stop thinking about that teacher.. I knew there was SOMETHING there, I FELT it! But whatever was going on in my head stopped when I felt my phone vibrate in my skinny black jeans against my perfectly shaped thigh.

I walked back to my maths class while I grabbed my phone to check my BBM's, I had just received one from Abdulaziz.

Abdulaziz: Perhaps I should begin calling you the class-clown? Have fun on your date, I saw your face ya toma6a ;)

I smiled at the remark, then began to type:

Lama: I'm damn proud to be! And I will, thank-you ;)

I quickly slid it back into my pocket before I entered class, sat down and began finishing my work.

--

I didn't realize it had been 30 minutes until the bell rang and we were off for an hour of lunch time.

Well.. I was off to my date! 

Fear - Characters

Layan:
Layan is white, with light-brown hair that's really curly. She's got a nicely spaced out body, but when she puts on weight, it usually goes to her love handles. She has lots of freckles, but they're cute. She's known as the elegant one in between her sisters. She is 22 years old. She's beautiful, and she sticks by old fashioned traditions.
Layan is out-going, trust worthy, a great friend, attending Northwestern University in Qatar. She is loved by almost everyone, even the professors and faculty. They all know that she is well-behaved, fun, smart and amazing.

Dalal:
Dalal is the complete opposite, she's dark skinned (light brown). Her hair is long, dark brown and wavy, it's really nice and adds a pretty effect to her. She's short and chubby, she loses weight then puts it on, it's an on and off thing. She's crazy, always cheerful, very responsible though. She's the smartest between the sisters, well.. She studies A LOT! She's the type to modernize herself, she believes in advancing with the world.
She's a great friend as well, very good with advice and always knows the right and wrong things to do. She's 21 years old. She's also Layan's sister, they're VERY close since they were kids.

Lama:
Lama is.. different? She's tanned, with green eyes. She has a baby face but she's very tall Mashallah. She's loved by her parents and is known to be loyal and polite, but is a trouble-maker in school. She strives for what she wants but doesn't go after what she deserves if it involves any way of hurting people. She's 15 years old, she's not close to her sisters, well not as close as they are together (She's Layan and Dalal's little sister). She's very outgoing and friendly, but the only person she trusts is her best-friend, whom she also had a small crush on. She's seen a lot in her life with her family, but she doesn't understand why her sisters aren't as affected by it as she is.

Abdulaziz: Abdulaziz is 16 years old, he's also tanned, well built, very good looking, just like the typical hot guys all bloggers describe :p. Abdulaziz loves Lama more than anything in the world, she knows everything about him.. Except for the fact that she was his replacement. He's extremely lost, and his mood is on and off, sometimes he's the perfect gentlemen, or best friend in Lama's case, but sometimes he's the guy she wants to slap.

Layan is in last year of university studying Film Production. Dalal is in 3rd year of university and she's studying Computer Science. Lama is in grade 10, she wants to be an artist after she graduates. Abdulaziz is also in grade 10, he was held back a year but Lama doesn't know why, he never talks about it to her. Lastly, Abdulaziz was confused about his future.