Chapter 29

Second post because I realized I barely post and they're REALLY short, so I'm going to try and make this longer than my normal posts! :)

Guys, please leave comments, DM me or Mention me your thoughts and wishes, it'll really be a motivation for me and it will help me write better for you! :D

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Previously:

Talal: As your best friend, I'm willing to help you out of this state.

The next part would be something I'm never going to forgive myself for. 

--

Dalal's POV:

1 month later:

Honestly, I hadn't expected what he told me..

I was STILL trying to wrap my head around it.

His words haunted me every night.

"Whatever we had going on though, it's done.. I'm not in love with you anymore".

7aram though, Talal has called me everyday since then, he stayed in the US to take care of me for 2 weeks, then left back to the UAE.

He tried convincing me to go as well, but I wasn't ready.

I'm just living life, I've learned that isolating myself never did me well.. So I'm just trying to live. I'm still in love with Talal, and I told him. 

I know he loves me too, I saw it in his eyes, and now I hear it in his voice on the phone. Maybe someday he'll forgive me, and he'll come around, but I don't expect him to because I don't think I would if I were in his place.

I went shopping today. I saw a sign about some concert in Abu Dhabi. I kind of miss it there. I miss everyone. I miss arabs. I miss it all. I'm considering going back.

Am I ready or not to go back?

--

I woke up and booked a flight, without really hesitating, I think I'm finally ready to go back. It was at night, so I decided to take the day and just relax, enjoy it, be me for a day.

I went and got my nails done, dip-dyed my hair purple, got a mango smoothie, I read a book.. Towards the afternoon, I also wrote up goals, I wanted to improve myself and I was going to achieve it, I was going to be the person I always wanted to be, someone that would make Talal proud of me.

When I was done writing it, I stuffed it in my purse, packed, and went to the airport. I kept my apartment here though, I didn't even think to sell it or whatever, I knew I'd want to come here every once in a while. 

-- 

Okaaaay, making it longer didn't work that well haha. But here's another post for the day so it's a little better than not posting at all!

Chapter 28

Previously

He took a few minutes, taking a small glance at me every few seconds. When he finally put his phone down, I finally learned what it means when they say "EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED". 

--

Talal's point of view:

I couldn't believe it. Was this Dalal? I didn't know if I could live knowing that intentionally touched another man. Another man had seen her and enjoyed her like a doll. And was it forgivable to know that she had watched death at another hands, and not done anything to stop it? It seemed like a movie, I swear it was like a movie. I could've never imagined her doing this, it was a seriously strong twist of actions..

I put down her phone, even though I read it after only a minute of looking at it, I pretended like I was still reading and just took another minute to think. 

Was I willing to forgive her, and live like nothing happened?

Was I willing to forgive myself IF I walked away right now and tried to forget about her?

Would I forgive myself if I left her at her lowest and didn't help?

Those lost two questions made a lot of sense to me.. A combination had to made. 

I knew we'd both end up hurt at the end of this.. But here it goes:

Talal: Dalal ana.. I'm surprised w um

I stopped. 

UGH WHAT DO I DO? I thought to myself.

Talal: I'm surprised. I am really, really, REALLY surprised Dalal.

Talal: I don't know if. umm. 

I stopped again and watched her face expressions. She seemed like she was expecting bad news. I felt so bad, but just..

Talal: As your best friend, I'm willing to help you out of this state.

The next part would be something I'm never going to forgive myself for. 

Chapter 27

Previously:

I realized I was screaming and felt like an idiot, after saying all this out loud.. I realized I had been the most dramatic girl the world's ever known. 

--

I also realized I never actually left for a proper reason.. I just felt the need to leave, and I didn't think twice. I got up and sat in front of Talal, so we could have more of a serious conversation.

He just looked at me while my mind drifted off into the last year.. Would he ever forgive me for all that I've done? If we're here now, and we're having this conversation, I better be damn honest.. I thought to myself.

Dalal: Umm Talal..

My face was like this: :|, literally. 

Talal: Hmm? 

He looked like he was in deep thought.

Dalal: I need to tell you some things, bas i don't know how to.. 

He looked a little disappointed, a little angry maybe that I had more to say.. more that i've hidden.

I didn't know how I'd find it in me to say all this to his face. 

I thought for a few minutes then I did it, I came up with the PERFECT idea.

I slipped my phone out of my hoddie's pocket, he looked a little offended that I was about to tell him something then just began texting, but he'd understand in a few minutes.

I typed, and I typed, and I typed all the things I've done for the past year that I thought he should and deserves to know.

I felt his phone buzz on the table and begin to light a bright red color every few seconds, indicating he had a message waiting to be read.

At first he hesitated, not wanting to be hypocritical and doing the same as me.. But I signaled him to look and so he did. 

He took a few minutes, taking a small glance at me every few seconds. When he finally put his phone down, I finally learned what it means when they say "EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED". 

-- 

Next post will be in Talal's point of view Inshallah.

Chapter 26

I hate to do this to you all, and I feel like crap, but really I don't have motivation to write, and I think I messed up the story anyways.

I'm going to write a few posts and just end it so I don't disappoint anyone!

So sorry guys.

--

Previously:

 I made sure to NOT wipe my lips that were filled with vomit and spit, and crawled to the door, then used the handle to pull me up while I shivered from the cold touch of the door knob. 

--

Gosh, I thought.. This was not the day to be sick! I turned the door knob, and there was Gerard.. Ugh, WHY DID I GET MYSELF INTO THIS. 

Suddenly, all that I've done in the past year dawned upon me, and I regretted it.. Big time. 

I pulled myself together within 20 seconds whilst Gerard eyed me in disgust. 

Gerard: What's wrong with you? 

He suddenly pulled me from my arm up to his face.

Gerard: Stand up while I talk to you.

All I did was open my mouth, and breath. 

I knew I would vomit soon, and I did in the next 45 seconds.. All. Over. Gerrard.

You can imagine how MAD that made him.. He gave me a harsh kick in the stomach, then turned to leave. I was in pain and on the floor, but really.. Talal was all that came to my mind so I got up.

Turned back and put on a jumped and shoes before I left.. 

--

As soon as I saw him, I felt like I was struck by lightning. He was sitting down with his back faced to me.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..

I stood there staring for a minute, he put his head down and ran his fingers through his messy chocolate colored hair. He turned around to look at the door, and there I was completely shocked and caught off guard.

He stopped, and stared at me as well for a few minutes.. Until I finally smiled, and walked in the diner. 

As soon as I was close to him, his perfume stood out.. I. Missed. Him.

I smiled a bigger and smile and ran into his embrace, hugging him for many minutes.. I had missed out on a lot of hugs, and I NEEDED him. 

He dug his face into my hair and caressed my back as lovingly as one could do it. 

Suddenly, he was carrying me and he sat down in his cushion bench with me in his lap.

I turned to him, blushing like a maniac..

Dalal: What are you doing..

He smiled really big and held me tighter.

Talal: I never want to let you go again, you're mine w i'm not letting you go anywhere. You hear me? So you're staying right here, where you can't run away from me.

He put my arms around his neck and whispered those 3 words I've been longing to use into his ears..

Dalal: I love you.

I paused.

Dalal: and I miss you.

He hugged me tighter for only a minute, then suddenly let go of me and made me face him.

He looked serious, so I grew worried.

Talal: I.. I want to know why you left.. What you've been doing for the past year.. How come you never contacted me? I went through a lot, Dalal.

A tear made it's way down my face as I exploded on him.

Dalal: I. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU. BUT WHEN YOU LOSE A BABY, IT'S JUST HARD. I THOUGHT THAT I COULDN'T LIVE IF HE OR SHE COULDN'T. 

I realized I was screaming and felt like an idiot, after saying all this out loud.. I realized I had been the most dramatic girl the world's ever known. 

Chapter 25

Sorry it's not long, but I've really come to conclusion that I can't write long posts because I get bored, this is the best I can do for now. I'll post every few days, and I'll try my best to keep it at this length Inshallah.

Thanks for everyone's support, I know I've been a crappy writer for you guys :(

--

Previously:

By 10:45, I was asleep, completely forgetting to set an alarm for 6:30am..

--

I woke up to loud bangs at the door. My body felt like it was broken everywhere, I was freezing but felt like I was in a sauna..

I rolled over huffing, trying to place my hand from under the blanket to my phone to check the time.

8:09am.

As soon as I began to panic, remembering Talal and I were supposed to meet at 7 am! I rolled over again, attempting to jump out of bed, call Talal and just meet with him.. no regrets.

But as soon as I rolled over again, I felt dizzy and noxious, my head swung itself to the side of the bed, legs flew to the ground and I magically carried myself to the bathroom where I vomited all over the floor. 

I fell to my knees, too weak to carry myself up anymore.

I heard the loud and hard banging on my door again. My mind was jumping to all sorts of conclusions, like a raged Talal, or a Talal with an emergency. Little did I know, it was none of the above, and no one I expected this morning. 

.........: OPEN THE DOOR EMILY, I KNOW YOU'RE THERE.. 

Gerard. 

Oh god.

What am I supposed to say now?

I crawled, drewling spit, back to my bed where I reached for my phone.. With all my energy, I found Talal's number in my recent calls list and dialed.. While it rang, I crawled back into the bathroom hiding behind the door, feeling the vomit come back.

He didn't answer the first time, but I didn't give up.

Second call, he answered right before it closed.

I could barely speak. 

Dalal: Ta-Talal. 

I continued vomiting, not taking into consideration Talal who was on the phone with me because I knew it was just him..

Talal: Why are you vomiting??? Wainich??

I spit whatever I had left in me, and spoke as fast as I could.

Dalal: Talal, meet me in Retro Morning in 10 minutes.

I hung up, just like that. I couldn't speak anymore, and I needed to deal with the animal that was still at my door..

I made sure to NOT wipe my lips that were filled with vomit and spit, and crawled the door, then used the handle to pull me up while I shivered from the cold touch of the door knob.