To begin with, I'm sorry to the people who dm-ed and were disappointed because they wanted more of Lama & Abdullah. I decided to cut them short for a while because I had a few readers that were upset with the direction the story headed towards and of course, I don't want to offend anyone or make them feel uncomfortable with my writing. I doubt I'll be bringing any type of intimacy other than a kiss on the cheek or things of that sort into the story again due to the society we're all in. I'm sorry to anyone who's disappointed with the story, I'm trying my best but I'm having lots of personal things to deal with as well.
The only reason I'm continuing Fear is to satisfy everyone who's supported me, and to satisfy the people who have now became some of my best friends through this blog!
Moving on though, here is chapter 16!
--
Is she dead?
A never ending cycle of madness; insanity at it's finest.
--
Well.. Any chance of going to jail is gone because she's alive. I want to call her a monster, but aren't I the monster? Aren't I the 15 year old who tried to kill her own mother? Aren't I the one who's being stepped away from? The one that they're all afraid of?
I sat in the hospital seats... Alone. Alone... While they all visited her, and made her feel loved. A tear prickled down my face as I recalled yesterday, the way that their eyes shot me looks of fear.
Fear of the girl they never thought me to be.
Fear of the girl that I've become.
Fear of my capability to hurt others.
But was I to be afraid of?
My flashbacks were brought back to reality as my index finger moved swiftly when I tilted my hot chocolate that was still steaming only after 5 minutes of buying it. The brown chocolate covered milk slipped a few drops on my middle finger and I quickly placed the cup on the table that was in front of me and began to suck on my finger; thinking this will release the burning sensation it caused me.
In the midst of my finger cooling down, I felt a liquid travel on my upper lips; slowing down as it reached the opening to my mouth. Just then, I also felt a drop fall from my chin. It was then that I realized how heavily I was crying while thinking about the day before, the liquid now traveling down my mouth was from my nose, the liquid falling from my chin was my tears.
What have I done?
The flashbacks came back to haunt me as I remembered begging and pleading for my father to help me. I wrapped my arms around his long legs and he shooed me off! As if I was a cat, he shooed me off with aggression.
**
Baba: Get off of me Lama! I'm trying to see if you killed your mother!
He kicked me off his foot as he bent down to check my mothers pulse.
Minutes later sirens began to ring and they got closer until they pushed the door open and rushed in, carrying my mother on the bed and running outside to save her.
**
The questions. All the questions. I keep asking myself questions.. The police ask me questions.. They ask me weird things, they ask me questions I have no answers to!
Do I have a mental disorder?
What caused me to resort to such techniques of unleashing my anger?
Has my mother ever physically hurt me?
How could I answer questions like these in my current mental state?
I was alone.. Well I thought I was alone.
**
My tears failed me again, and the bags under my eyes made the ride bumpy for my tears as they rolled down my eyelids then my cheeks.
My father came walking past and sat on the couch next to mine, he covered with forehead with his long fingers and wide palm.
La Ilaha Ela Allah wa Muhammad Rasool Allah
Istaghfurallah Al 3atheem
A3ootho Billahi Mn Al Shay6an Al Rajeem
He kept repeating these words, not paying any attention to his broken daughter sitting at his right, only a matter of centimeters away from him.
I moved my body closer to his, and wrapped my arms around him. My tiny body fit perfectly next to his, but my father.. My own father got up shouting the words:
DON'T TOUCH ME. YOU'RE NOT MY DAUGHTER.
I was taken aback by his words, my tears stopped falling for a few seconds as I comprehended the situation then they threatened to fall back again and I had no energy to will them gone so I let them fall again after they burnt my eyes for a few more seconds.
**
What could I do more than cry I thought?
But then.. Somebody walked in and stood a few centimeters away from me while crossing his arms around his perfectly shaped chest with a very worried expression on his face. That is when I knew, I knew I wasn't alone.. I knew I could get through this.
--
Hope you liked this! It was extra long!
Who do you think was there for her in the end ? Who'll be her savior ?
COMMENT/DM/MENTION ME YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEEDBACK!
LOVE YOU GUYS!
The only reason I'm continuing Fear is to satisfy everyone who's supported me, and to satisfy the people who have now became some of my best friends through this blog!
Moving on though, here is chapter 16!
--
Is she dead?
A never ending cycle of madness; insanity at it's finest.
--
Well.. Any chance of going to jail is gone because she's alive. I want to call her a monster, but aren't I the monster? Aren't I the 15 year old who tried to kill her own mother? Aren't I the one who's being stepped away from? The one that they're all afraid of?
I sat in the hospital seats... Alone. Alone... While they all visited her, and made her feel loved. A tear prickled down my face as I recalled yesterday, the way that their eyes shot me looks of fear.
Fear of the girl they never thought me to be.
Fear of the girl that I've become.
Fear of my capability to hurt others.
But was I to be afraid of?
My flashbacks were brought back to reality as my index finger moved swiftly when I tilted my hot chocolate that was still steaming only after 5 minutes of buying it. The brown chocolate covered milk slipped a few drops on my middle finger and I quickly placed the cup on the table that was in front of me and began to suck on my finger; thinking this will release the burning sensation it caused me.
In the midst of my finger cooling down, I felt a liquid travel on my upper lips; slowing down as it reached the opening to my mouth. Just then, I also felt a drop fall from my chin. It was then that I realized how heavily I was crying while thinking about the day before, the liquid now traveling down my mouth was from my nose, the liquid falling from my chin was my tears.
What have I done?
The flashbacks came back to haunt me as I remembered begging and pleading for my father to help me. I wrapped my arms around his long legs and he shooed me off! As if I was a cat, he shooed me off with aggression.
**
Baba: Get off of me Lama! I'm trying to see if you killed your mother!
He kicked me off his foot as he bent down to check my mothers pulse.
Minutes later sirens began to ring and they got closer until they pushed the door open and rushed in, carrying my mother on the bed and running outside to save her.
**
The questions. All the questions. I keep asking myself questions.. The police ask me questions.. They ask me weird things, they ask me questions I have no answers to!
Do I have a mental disorder?
What caused me to resort to such techniques of unleashing my anger?
Has my mother ever physically hurt me?
How could I answer questions like these in my current mental state?
I was alone.. Well I thought I was alone.
**
My tears failed me again, and the bags under my eyes made the ride bumpy for my tears as they rolled down my eyelids then my cheeks.
My father came walking past and sat on the couch next to mine, he covered with forehead with his long fingers and wide palm.
La Ilaha Ela Allah wa Muhammad Rasool Allah
Istaghfurallah Al 3atheem
A3ootho Billahi Mn Al Shay6an Al Rajeem
He kept repeating these words, not paying any attention to his broken daughter sitting at his right, only a matter of centimeters away from him.
I moved my body closer to his, and wrapped my arms around him. My tiny body fit perfectly next to his, but my father.. My own father got up shouting the words:
DON'T TOUCH ME. YOU'RE NOT MY DAUGHTER.
I was taken aback by his words, my tears stopped falling for a few seconds as I comprehended the situation then they threatened to fall back again and I had no energy to will them gone so I let them fall again after they burnt my eyes for a few more seconds.
**
What could I do more than cry I thought?
But then.. Somebody walked in and stood a few centimeters away from me while crossing his arms around his perfectly shaped chest with a very worried expression on his face. That is when I knew, I knew I wasn't alone.. I knew I could get through this.
--
Hope you liked this! It was extra long!
Who do you think was there for her in the end ? Who'll be her savior ?
COMMENT/DM/MENTION ME YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEEDBACK!
LOVE YOU GUYS!
thanks for posting! loving your story!
ReplyDeleteOne of the two brothers that love her:D lalala thanks for posting ~o~ keep this amazing work going ,I'm enjoying every bit of your story . Btw when is the next post? xx
ReplyDeleteLots of Love;
M-from UAE aka meem <3