Fear - Chapter 10 - Part B

...: WTF ARE YOU DOING?

I heard a furious voice in the background. 

Abdulaziz flew off of me really quickly to find none other than his very very VERY angry brother at the door. 

Nasser: ANSWER ME. 

Abdulaziz looked down, unable to answer, so I stood up.. I didn't see a reason to all this fuss he was making! And secretly, I didn't want that moment to end! 

Lama: Why is it any of your business?

Abdulaziz shot his head up and gave me a look telling me to shut up. I moved my head to look at Nasser, who was now fuming.

Nasser: MY BUSINESS? HOW IS IT NOT MY BUSINESS LAMA? DID YOU FORGET WHO I AM? 

His face turned a very dark red, and I had a feeling this wasn't going anywhere good but when my anger got the best of me? it got the best of me! There was no going back. 

Lama: YES I FORGOT.. MAYBE CAUSE YOU LEFT. 3 F*CKING YEARS. YOU LEFT. WITHOUT ANY TYPE OF GOODBYE.. 

I lowered my head, my anger had brought back an emotional side to this whole situation and memory.. A tear was forming in my eye but I just continued with 2 words.

Lama: You.. left. 

I ran upstairs, avoiding their eyes staring at me. When I got to abdulaziz's room, all I did was grab one of his large t-shirts and get into his bed curling up into a ball. My tears escaped my eyes.. And just like any girl, my whole life flashed before my eyes while I cried.. I thought about Nasser, what we had. 

Should I have waited for him?

No. He left. For a whole year I didn't do anything. He just left! He left just a few days after my father left, and he KNEW how affected I was by my parents divorce, yet.. he left.

So no, I kept telling myself.. I should not have waited for him.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Lama: GO AWAY

The door opened anyway, and there Nasser was standing.. He looked at me for a few seconds, then closed the door while still staring at me, and walked my way.

--

He laid down on the bed next to me, and tucked himself in as well. We stared into each others eyes for a while, trying to read each others minds. Then he moved his thumb up and wiped my tears away.. 

Nasser: I'm sorry.

He stopped.. then:

Nasser: I'm so so so sorry Lama.. I'm an assh*le, I know.. I'm so sorry. 

I couldn't. Was it even normal that this guy hurt me uncontrollably yet I couldn't let him say these things about myself? and that <--- is exactly what I told him.

Lama: Don't say that about yourself.. Despite the fact that I was barely 13 years old. Despite the fact that I loved you, and god knows how much is still in me for you.. Despite the fact that you've hit me before. Despite the fact that you left.. Don't say that about yourself. At the end of the day, you know that I could never really hate you. I guess you were just a confused 15 year old back then...

I smiled a tight smile trying to hold back my tears.. Why was I being nice to this guy? UGH I thought to myself, obviously.. I was too nice and naive. 

But what made me think twice about my thoughts was Nasser's wide smile. It made me smile a bigger smile, and I was genuinely happy for making him smile. 

But do good things ever last?

Obviously, my question was answered when I felt Nasser's hand running my waist, pushing me closer to him.. And being the stupid girl that I was, did I stop him?






Nope.

He leaned closer and closer and closer, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand..

For the second time today.

...: WTF ARE YOU DOING?