Hi

Hey there,

So I haven't written anything since last summer, and for some reason, I really want to write these days. I've gotten a really cool idea, and I've already started writing it. You guys probably noticed, or not, that I deleted the few chapters I had written last summer to "Pure Bliss" - an interesting plot that I loved, it's too bad I started it badly. Maybe someday I'll continue that.

Anyways so I know that in the past, I use to have a few problems:

1) Too short of posts.
2) My ideas were all over the place.
3) Late posts.
4) Rare feedback.

So, in order to solve a few of these problems, I've started writing it from now, beginning of June, and I won't start posting until summer starts. I'll hopefully have 7-8 posts by then, and I'll post twice a week when summer starts. Also, I'm trying to write longer posts, and I'm planning them out before writing them, so that they're more organized.

As for feedback and support, I'll get back onto my twitter account sometime soon and start to tell you guys what I'm up to with the story. It's an awesome plot, and I'm really excited to write it for you guys.

The new story is called "Melancholy"

The meaning of the word Melancholy is - a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause.

I hope all is well with you guys! Really miss some of you. Hope you're all doing good in school and acing your finals, whether they're already started or will be starting in the new few weeks.

See you soon! 

Fear - Chapter 25 - FINALE

Hi..

I think I owe everyone a huge apology?
I'm sorry. Asfa Asfa Asfa..
I know I owed you the finale a long time ago..
I just.. don't have it in me to write, I don't like it to be honest. I like it bs not when I HAVE to do it, you know?

:/
I'm sorry.

--
Previously:

I walked away as fast as possible, only stopping to say: Oh, and congratulations. You guys make a cute couple! 

--

That's how my story ended to be honest. 

She never forgave Abdulaziz, never got back together with Nasser, never met up with Abdullah again.. Nothing. 

She went back to boarding school when school began again, and she graduated, and she went to university abroad.

Her life went on.. Like everybody else's lives. 

It all just goes on..

No matter what goes wrong.. and how life treats you.. It goes on. Life won't stop for you, or them, or anyone. You either stop and watch it go on while you sit in your seat, or you walk with it to the finish line. 

I hope you guys enjoyed reading my blog. I'm sorry for all the times I left you all hanging. I hope everyone has an AMAZING summer. I love you guys! :D

Fear - Chapter 24

Next chapter will be the finale!

--

I spent a few days with my dad. Well.. In my room, since he was still being very formal with me. Only talking to me when absolutely needed.

After the few days, I finally decided it was time to go ask my father if i were granted the permission to leave and see my friends.

And to my surprise, he said yes.

So I grabbed my wallet and called on the driver from his room to take me, and to the place where I solemnly knew so well - I directed him to Abdulaziz's house.

I jumped out of the car and ran down, only to greeted at the door by Nasser.

I frowned, and asked him where Abdulaziz was after some small talk.

Except before I could finish my sentence, Abdulaziz was walking out of the door, holding a girls hand walking out.

Not just any girl, my cousin. Darine was holding his hand and laughing, making pouty faces at him.

They were greeted with my shocked face. But I caught grip of my emotions as fast as possible and did what I learned to do so well in my months in the academy, I simply smiled, and tried my luck with formalities.

Lama: Hey Darine, Abdulaziz! It's great seeing you guys!

Abdulaziz spoke first: Lama.. when did you get back?

Then he looked at the door and invited me in, letting go of Darine's hand abruptly.

Darine: Abdulaziz, we're going out aren't we?

She tried whispering to Aziz while tugging on his arm, but I could see that he was dumbfounded, and completely stunned at my presence that he didn't even hear her.

And so I replied.

Lama: It's fine, I'm not staying, I was just hear to say hello, I'm leaving anyways, have a great time guys.

I walked away as fast as possible, only stopping to say: Oh, and congratulations. You guys make a cute couple! 

Fear - Chapter 23

I understand I haven't posted for a while, but this story will be ending very soon due to my lack of motivation to write. I don't enjoy it, and so I won't purse it. I'm sorry guys.
I hope there's someone still reading though :p

--

After a long ride to the school, we arrived to a luxurious building.

Except, every time I glanced at a girl, she didn't look so friendly. And suddenly, I felt surrounded by venomous snakes. It was time to put my guard up.

Very, very high.

I entered the school and was enrolled with a girl who look a little less snobbier than the other, but regardless still looked snobby. Her name was Bushra. I didn't even like her name, I thought!

Regardless of her snobby outlook, she seemed to try and make small talk with me. Asking me where I lived, where I came from, and why my parents had sent me here. I did a good job in lying about the reason my parents sent me, saying that education wasn't great in Qatar. Although it was a constantly developing country that really payed attention to their education, I couldn't afford to tell the truth.

After I cut the conversation short, not keen on making any friends with snobs. I packed my stuff up then slept on the hotel-like bed. It wasn't too comfortable though, because I was mentally clouded. Thinking of so many different things: my mom, abdulaziz, my dad.. everything in general. I even thought a little about abdullah.

I kind of smiled at the thought of that night in the club, it felt so good knowing that I didn't have any worries that day, in fact any day I decided to leave my usual personality and make the best of life and fun.

--

The next thing I knew, a week had already passed. Finding my way around the school was kind of hard considering it was really large. I still found my way after a day or two though. As for the friends, a lot of girls were sucking up to me. Wanting to get my trust, I could see their evil looks, wanting to undress my disguise. They all saw through me, or maybe.. my insecurities were getting to me.

--

A month passed.

Two.

Three.

Seven.

--

Next thing I knew, I was back in Qatar. Having suffered 7 months in that school really scared me, although it did me well in keeping me focused in studies. I didn't give my attention to a single girl, unless paired with her for a project - by force. I usually tried to get into groups on my own, and kept away from everyone. Even the teachers. I just didn't feel the need to make friends in a place I wouldn't be staying too long.

Yes, I was planning to escape.

And now, I have my chance.

I'm in Qatar. And I can leave, I thought.

Except I was greeted by my mother..

--

It wasn't a normal greeting no. No no no. She was being sweet! At the airport.

--

Then we got home, and I ran up to my room to find it packed with candy.

But then I looked at the bed.. to find a little girl sitting down. She looked much younger than me, and just as snobby as the girls back in the academy.

I frowned then asked who she was.

She groaned, and asked me who I was. The audacity on this little girl..

I turned around, ignoring her, and left to ask my mom who she was. To find my father and another strange man next to my mother. My father gave me a slight nod, showing his disapproval and disappointment still. The man though, turned around and smiled widely at me.

The man: Ta3ali 3ami.. 7amdella 3al salama 7abeebty. Shu, a'3radik ma3aki? Hala2 baba bdo ya5dk ma3a 3l bait!

He extended his hand and we shook it.

I smiled back, and said: Ah 3ami el7amdella, although ana fakart 7anam hon. Um 3ami mmkn as2al, ana ba3rafak?

He laughed.

And then told me some very shocking news, to me.

--

My mother had gotten married!

In the 7 damn months that I left? She got married!

Oh oh oh and he told me that girl in my room was his daughter from his ex-wife, who passed away.

I was even more surprised though when I came to ask myself how he had accepted such an uptight character of a wife like my mother.

Except then I realized.. outside the house, my mother was considered a goddess of attraction. She was also VERY adored by the men, due to her love for them.

That's where I clicked it, his burberry shirt, and his golden cufflinks - He was rich. And she devoured him for it.

Great..

--

I glanced upwards and nodded at my father, showing my want to move out of here - and quickly.

Fear - Chapter 22

When I made my way outside the airport, I was waited for by a girl that looked about a year or two older than me with my name stuck on a card held above her head. She was really white, brown hair that was cut as short as a mans but in no efficient way, and she was wearing an ugly grey dress that looked like what could be the school's uniform as it had a logo on the top right corner or it's collar. 

My smile immediately disappeared as I walked to her while she eyed my hips that swayed along with my confident walk. 

This.. Was going to be interesting I thought, and a mischievous grin grew wide on my face. 

--

As I walked closer to her, I couldn't help but notice the huge.. and I mean enormous mole next to her left eyebrow. I didn't think a mole was that bad, it was just the few hairs sticking out of it that had me thinking of vomit. 

As I finally approached her, she eyed me once again. I extended my hand, and she took it with hesitation.

Lama: Hi! 

Girl: Umm hi.. 

Lama: Are you from the boarding school?

Girl: Yeah

I scratched my head then looked down at my luggage.. They were pretty heavy.

Lama: Umm.. Can you show me how we're heading there? The bag is a bit heavy.

She looked down at my bag, then back up to me again and just stared.

Then? I was creeped out!

This girl was just staring at me, like I'm a picture, she was staring! 

I put on an awkward smile and waved my hands in front of her eyes then chuckled.

Lama: Umm hellooo! Anybody in there?

I tried to giggle a little and cut the awkwardness.. But she was still staring!

It took her about 10 seconds to finally zap out of her stares and look back up into my eyes, ready to say something.

Girl: Sure, um let's go then?

She asked hesitantly, as if she was asking me! Well I don't know where we're going, I thought. 

She then started to walk really slowly, still hesitating into the parking. I wasn't sure where we were heading, and what I was expecting so I just followed along until she stopped at a car.

And it wasn't just any car.. 

--

It was a Bentley.

Yes everybody, you read right.

It was a Bentley.

A beautiful, and might I repeat, a beautiful pearly white Bentley.

Fear - Chapter 21

Here I was thinking I'd dread leaving, but all I could think about while walking to the check-in was a fresh start. I knew I'd miss Abdulaziz, and only Abdulaziz but I was looking forward to leaving, getting my head straight.

After all, a 15 year old was never this missed up.  

--

After buying all the candy possible from Duty Free, I was now in the plane. *In case anybody is wondering how she's funding herself, she's got a credit card. 
I knew the plane ride to Bahrain was only 15 minutes away, and it releived me a little knowing that at least I was getting a new start, but not so far away from home.. If I could call it that that is. 

I plugged my iPod in and took out some candy, trying to avoid hitting the old woman next to me because of her loud calls to her son that was across the airplane. I closed my eyes, and before I knew it the plane was in the air and there was only a few minutes until landing. So I took out my iPod and began to look through the music to waste time.. The lady next to me finally spoke to me after she eyed my iPod suspiciously.

Lady: Is that your phone?

I knew she spoke arabic cause when she was yelling to her son, it was in a Jordanian arabic accent, but she spoke to me in a perfect British accent. Hmm I thought, that's interesting. I giggled a little, I was use to getting this question from people to be honest.

Lama: No, it's my ipod but it's the new nano so it's really small.

She looked at me, and I had a proud smile in me because my American accent slipped out of me fast and hard. 

And then.. she just turned her face. I laughed a little, it was stupid but I was bored. 

*Sound of airplane hitting the ground hehe*. The next thing I knew we had landed and the pilot was coming to a stop. 

After about 10 minutes, the door finally opened and I was welcome to Bahrain with the hot breeze. Oh yes, I had forgotten it's not so different to the weather in Qatar. I smiled, and made my way through the buses and airport in no time with a genuine smile and confident walk.

When I made my way outside the airport, I was waited for by a girl that looked about a year or two older than me with my name stuck on a card held above her head. She was really white, brown hair that was cut as short as a mans but in no efficient way, and she was wearing an ugly grey dress that looked like what could be the school's uniform as it had a logo on the top right corner or it's collar. 

My smile immediately disappeared as I walked to her while she eyed my hips that swayed along with my confident walk. 

This.. Was going to be interesting I thought, and a mischievous grin grew wide on my face. 

Fear - Chapter 20

I tried to smile, thinking about how amazing he is but I couldn't.. I couldn't stay here. I had to take the consequences for what I've done. 

--

Lama: Abdulaziz I can't.. I'm sorry..

His eyes filled with an emotion that I couldn't read, I didn't know if he was confused, sad, hurt, mad? 

But then I got it: Fear. 

Lama: I'm not going anywhere..

He creased his eyebrows, waiting for me to finish.

Lama: Ya3ni stop worrying that I'll forget you.. I love you and I won't forget you.. Besides I'm pretty sure the boarding school is only for girls anyways.

I stopped and winked at him.

Lama: If you'll wait for me, then i'll be back in no time azooz, w when I get back, we can be together fully, but for now azooz, we just have to hold it together for the sake of each other, okay?

I pouted at him, I couldn't resist treating him like my baby, even though he was older!

He slightly smiled at me, I guess he was confused and tongue tied, so I just grabbed the keys I saw on the table and held his hand then led him outside, and then we were on the way to the airport, in a completely silent car ride.

--

After what was about 15-20 minutes, we arrived there and like my father said, my driver was there with my bag. I didn't need to look inside because I'm sure the maids knew everything I would ever need and plus, the bag looked pretty filled up. The only thing I asked of him though was for my laptop, and he pointed at the bag shaking his head, expecting me to understand that it's inside there so I just smiled at him. 

And then the moment I was dreading came to place, and I had to turn around to see a funny looking Abdulaziz with his legs crossed and his arms on his chest also crossed.

I smiled a childish smile and went up to him, he already opened his arms out for me and there I was embracing him like today was our last day, hoping it wasn't. When he finally tried to let go, he bent down a little and kissed my forehead then looked down at me while holding me from my shoulders.

Abdulaziz: I'll miss you so much, and I'll wait for you like you would like to wait for me. I'll be right in this same place when you get back, and you take care of yourself okay? I love you.

Just like that, I hugged him again. 

After a few minutes, I was off with my bag and walking to the check-in. I kept glancing back to see Abdulaziz who was still staring at me, probably taking in that I was leaving.

Here I was thinking I'd dread leaving, but all I could think about while walking to the check-in was a fresh start. I knew I'd miss Abdulaziz, and only Abdulaziz but I was looking forward to leaving, getting my head straight.

After all, a 15 year old was never this missed up.